.fr3edom.

Friday, February 17, 2006

haiz.. i on comp also nth to do.. how can u all say i hav passion for IT? now.. i somehow lose interest in IT.. i want to do more other activities like going out or just go out to play.. hmmm~ dun feel like staying in front of my 'best fren' and do nth...

usually.. i online to play games.. chat and do some research on the latest IT stuffs... but now, i hav no game to play.. except for DOTA *but got frens play den fun one*.. and chat? i online and less than 10 ppl online.. now... graduated.. even results are released.. ppl seems to be separated.. e.g. some ppl tat scored nt so well will feel tat they are cut off frm those ppl tat scored very well even though they were once gd frens... somehow... there is a feeling of a wall/gap or wadsoever tat cut off the once close frenship.....

becuz of results.. ppl go to different places.. and hence separated further.. yup.. new frens will be found in the new places.... but will u keep in close contact with your once gd frens? for wad i think.. seldom.. only true frens will find themselves still going out together... i'm scared i cannot make new frens and also lose current frens... but i noe life shld go on and somehow... i dun lose frens... we are still frens but juz nv contact each other so much... hmmmm~

den.. research on the latest IT stuffs? i still read some news on the IT stuffs.. but not as much as the pass.. i'm getting tired of catching up with the technology already... getting sick of it.. tats y i dowan take IT in poly.. there is no other course tat i find interest in liao.. so.. dun feel like going poly now... wanna go JC first.....

haizz.. so sianz... now on comp very sianz.. but later i going cycling.. so.. i will hav somethg to do later.. haha

ok.. now come back to my o lvl results.. hmm.. i think i said all in my first post liao... but i miss out one part.. i think i'm quite proud for just one subject.. combined humanities.. i dunno y.. i tot i nv do well for it.. cuz i nv even finish it.. i still got an A1.. wah.. one of the big achievement hor.. yea.. i once swear tat i must get A1 for it.. now den i remembered.. so.. i've done it.. succeed...yay! but den.. haha? my other results seems suxs.. phy.. i also make sure i muz get A1.. i've done it also... but my e maths and A maths.. haiz.. chinese also haiz... i think my chinese.. i buck up too late liao.. started to work hard only 1 month before it.. wasted..

whereas my english.. like fated like tat.. no more luck for me to get a B or wadsoever... my english is bad.. means bad.. so i got a C6.. this result is bad.. but this also giv me a warning.. i mus work harder.. or else i will nt do well in the future.. cuz singapore is still using english as a common communication language.. if i dont do well for it, the drain is where i will land.. yup.. this time i want to go JC.. taking gp.. ppl say i may not make it.. but i have to make it.. this is one way i can push myself to do better...i have less than 2 years to get a B for my english.. it may be though.. no.. it WILL be tough for me... and yup.. i just aim for a B.. it's nt easy for me already...

ok.. i actaully nv finish blogging and i went out to cycle.. now.. i think i will continue...ok.. said all these.. i really wan to go JC..my aim is just to go a uni.. get a degree.. wad for? i dunno.. cuz a degree is very important.. tats wad i noe.. haiz... actually.. i dunno why.. ahyo.. confuse myself again...university nt alot of courses to take leh.. if let me choose.. i also dunno wad i wanna take.. none of them seems to be attracting me leh.. shit.. i lost interest in my life?

haiz.. y i such in a bad mood? i forgot wad made me happy last time.. or did i done somethg tat made myself feel depressed? feel so guilty now.. plus.. everytime my parents nag at me.. i also feel sad.. cuz den i will remember the bad thgs abt them.. nt gonna say all these again.. will make me dislike them more only.. ahh heck.. dun feel like continuing now.. i post my JAE choice below.. u will find tat i somehow anyhow choose my choices... yea.. my father say it's me tat's deciding when i ask wad i shld put..but den.. i choose liao.. den he say "dun choose this.. dun choose tat".. wah lau.. den anyhow sub other choices in...

Below is the Lyrics for one song.. this song is composed by the fans of leehom.. according to kc.. it's suitable for all occasions.. haha.. dunno how to explain.. ask him.. but really nice song =)

Title : 愛因為在心中

当我睁开双眼每一天（妙苗）
都会记得大家的笑脸（修罗）
明白心中勇敢又多了一点（妙苗修罗）

曾经哭泣也会看不见（可爱的小南瓜）
未来总会有别的喜悦（忧郁之蓝）
就让时间翻开崭新的一页（可爱的小南瓜忧郁之蓝）

你的音符你的脸（NicholasLee）
有种无声的语言（NicholasLee）
教我不退缩要坚持着信念（NicholasLee）
用音符画一个圈（音乐进化论）
经过都会被纪念（音乐进化论）
我想爱永远会留在你心间（音乐进化论）

每个人都拥有一个梦（合唱）
即使彼此不相同（合唱）
能够与你分享（合唱）
无论失败成功都会感动（合唱）

爱因为在心中（合唱）
平凡而不平庸（合唱）
世界就像迷宫（合唱）
却又让我们此刻相逢Our Home（合唱）

伤心时你会给我笑脸（ssf）
让我感受友爱的原点（饭饭）
快乐地过有风有雨的岁月（ssf 饭饭）

失望和伤心在所难免（冰兰）
都会经历漫长的严寒（Irini）
让这一切在我们心中沉淀（冰兰Irini）

用旋律写张信签（OurHome小5）
放入你的心里面（OurHome小5）
手牵手记录我们爱的和弦（BEAT）
用音符画一个圈（死神的乐章）
经过都会被纪念（死神的乐章）
我想爱永远会留在你心间（Shane）

每个人都拥有一个梦（合唱）
即使彼此不相同（合唱）
能够与你分享（合唱）
无论失败成功都会感动（合唱）

爱因为在心中（合唱）
平凡而不平庸（合唱）
世界就像迷宫（合唱）
却又让我们此刻相逢Our Home（合唱）

每个人都拥有一个梦（合唱）
即使彼此不相同（合唱）
能够与你分享（合唱）
无论失败成功都会感动（合唱）

爱因为在心中（合唱）
平凡而不平庸（合唱）
世界就像迷宫（合唱）
却又让我们此刻相逢Our Home（合唱）

LaLaLaLaLaLa~

爱因为在心中（合唱）
平凡而不平庸（合唱）
世界就像迷宫（合唱）
却又让我们此刻相逢Our Home（合唱）

pandaboo penned at 2/17/2006 01:46:00 pm

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think free.live free

Saturday, February 11, 2006

now is saturday already, 1 day after i recieved back my 'o' lvl results. i dunno wan to be sad or happy. getting 16 points, i shld be happy. but most of my frens all got 14points and below. they of course can make it to mjc. i want to go mjc, but just realised that i wanted sci stream instead of art stream. so, having a1 for cca, minus 2 points off the 16. so i got 14. and mjc sci stream is 13 points.. oh shit! how?! my frens all go mjc without much worries and wad if i dun get into one? i will be completely cut off frm everyone and i will be as blur blur as sotong in tpjc.

tpjc cut off points for sci stream is 14, while art stream is 13.. weird rite? like tat, seems tat their sci nt very gd. if i can go mjc, den i wont be so sad over my results liao... but den, the book shows the cut off point for L1R5 in 2005, so.. it doesn't mean tat this year wont change. i'm scared tat mjc made the cut off point lower and no chance for me at all.

last time i said.. if i got 15 points and above, i will go poly, but den.. i still dunno wad course i wanna go, and most of the ppl are going jc.. if i dun go jc, its like wasted for getting 16 points.. when i got 16 points and after bonus points is 14... suddenly, i feel tat the pathway to university is slightly opened for me. i felt abit happy, but abit sad when i noe i can only go tpjc, i hav no idea tpjc is gd or not. but frm the name.. it seems like some neighbourhood jc to me...no prob if they hav high percentage of ppl going to uni...but the thg is.. i hav no information at all!

haiz.. so where so where? most ppl going mjc.. i also wan go.. but can i? i now regret.. regret again.. i dint do badly for it.. but i also nv did well enough...juz like my PSLE.. got 219 tat time.. nt so bad.. but nt gd enough..

if i get 14 points for o lvl before the minus the bonus points.. i will really scream and run abt.. but at the moment i count to 16, my heart sink abit... when i noe tat most ppl got 14 points and can go mjc.. my heart sank fully.. haiz.. i noe.. it's time to make new frens in new jc.. but den.. i am worried tat i cannot do well in tpjc.. it will be quite tough at start.. haiz...

ok.. we hav 12 choices.. i can only fill in 2.. mjc sci and tpjc sci.. so.. others how? haiz.. so worried...

pandaboo penned at 2/11/2006 01:42:00 pm

Comments:

Weirong, people move on all the time. It's perfectly fine to blend in into a fresh and new environment, and get to know more new people. I bet that while being in MI with the rest of the gang, you didn't make as much new friends as you could, because you still mixed with the 4E gang. I'm not saying that it's bad or anything. However, it's explicitly impossible to stick with your friends all the time. Everyone has their own different pathways. Well, let me share with you one of my favourite quotes, "You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends.'" Not to worry, even if you go to tpjc while the rest go to mjc, i believe you can still enjoy yourself there and make more new friends in tpjc, plus you guys will still be able to keep in touch. I mean, come on! YOU'RE STILL IN SINGAPORE. Plus, you can also keep in contact with the advancing technology. MSN works wonders, trust me. =)

# posted by

-sammie- : 2:00 pm

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think free.live free

Saturday, February 04, 2006

pump it~~ louder! Pump It~! Louder! PUMP IT!!~~

i'm now blasting songs and musics into my ears.. arghh.. so damn stupid day lah! nvm... i gonna complain abt everythg around me again.. so, if u nt interested.. it's ok for u to skip this post.. i just wan to explode!!

ok.. this morning.. went to school.. * i supposed u all noe its MI*.. seems like th first day of sch like tat.. woke up at 6.. tot i was early.. but i drag till 6.30.. but having realised that my concession stamp had expired.. i hav to walk to the bus stop tat hav bus 93.. i dunno how long it takes to walk there... so i was planning to meet kc first.. sms kc at 6.30am.. asking wad time he usually meet hafidz.. den i was abt to tell him i wan walk also in the next sms.. but den.. he replied only at 6.50am saying "6.45am" they meet.. den i finally really woke up tat i am damn late.. i rush everythg.. and i bite my own lips alot times when i was swallowing breads.. stupid! how the h*** did i bite my lips to many times! pain!!

den i rush down.. i am so late.. i need to take bus.. but while i was walking to the bus stop.. den i noe my ez-link no money.. and i left 1 50cents coin!! few mins left.. i ran all the way down to the 93 bus stop.. half way.. the heaven was so kind and started to drizzle.. or wadever it is spelt.. den i took out my umbrella and ran! ran to the bus stop.. heng.. they are still there.. den i realised to forgot my MI pin.. arghh.. stupid..

den nvm.. go sch.. morning.. stomachache! but joel and kc are using the toilets.. no choice.. tahan.. den to the assembly.. the whole gym was usually FULL of Pre-U 1 only..this time.. half the gym was taken up by the P-2 and 3.. see lah.. like tat can estimate how many ppl nv come liao.. den the home tutor ( form teacher) see us den noe we skip alot days liao.. dammit.. y so suay..

den the lessons was as usual boring.. and we skip geog tutorial and went to hav lunch.. after tat.. went back to bnss to find mr goh.. i dunno y i am so gd.. y shld i be so guai go find him? mr beh noe abt it liao also laugh at me say i bo liao.. come to get ang bao only.. Zzzz.. so embrassing

den in the end! cannot find him! nvm.. i go home.. den awhile later i cycle to victor's hse to help him on presentation thgs and put songs in mp3.. den slack there lah..

den when i come back.. i tell my mother i will be going swimming later.. den she nv say anythg.. den i was abit tired.. so i slp awhile.. den she scold.. scold i slp on my bed when i am dirty.. den ask me slp on sofa.. i haven lie down for 1 min! or even 30sec.. she started to scold again.. say i so tired den dun go swimming lah.. say wad "dun always folo ur frens.. they ask u go den go.. u can say dun go one mah! muz learn how to reject.. dun be so nice.. ".. and all those craps tat i dun wan to remember..

den i heck.. go swim lor.. enjoyed myself.. so happy.. den go eat supper.. shiok.. went home happily.. but first step into my door.. "WHY SO LATE?!".. "WHO GOT GO? 2 PPL ONLY AR?!".. "NEXT TIME TIRED DEN DUN GO.. DUN LET UR FRENS PULL UR NOSE AND WALK".. "CAN REJECT DEN REJECT".. den... non stop.. i haven even sit down.. i went into my room.. "DUN ALWAYS COME HOME DEN ON COMP.. GO BATH!".. wah lan eh.. i damn tired.. let me rest awhile cannot ar.. den.. "WHO GOT GO?!"..."GOT BATH ANOT? GOT USE SOAP? GOT WASH HAIR? THE WATER THERE VERY DIRTY.. MUZ WASH.. ".. i haven reply anythg den.. "U VERY DIRTY LAH! SO LAZY TO WASH.. FASTER GO BATH NOW!".. den i say i bath abit liao.. juz tat nv use soap.. but got use shampoo.. den tired... dowan bath liao.. den they continue liao.. "WHO'S SHAMPOO'S U USE?!".. den i say my malay fren one.. den they like tn happy.. "U GOT SHAMPOO Y U DOWAN BRING?! Y WAN USE OTHER'S ONE?! U NOE VERY DIRTY OR NOT?!".. wtf?! same shampoo.. as if other ppl's one got poison like tat?!!! very WU LI QU NAO lor!... i hate this.. i haven say anythg den all words come shooting at me.. haven ans.. they also ans for me.. i think somehow like in the I NOT STUPID TOO.. but mine is a WORSE version..

den again.. my mother repeat.. den my father come "GO BATH LAH! U WAN BATH GO BATH NOW! OR I WAN GO IN LIAO!".. den i say i dowan liao.. den they shoot again lor.. den nvm.. i heck care.. on comp.. den father went to bath.. mother come.. and nag me.. say wad i nv contribute to the house.. ppl ask me go out den go out.. den say "IF U TIRED DEN GO LAH! THEY CANNOT FORCE U TO GO.. ".. all these crap lah.. but she nv realise.. I ENJOY GOING OUT! I WANT TO GO!~.. nt ppl force one! plz lah! sometimes.. is i ask ppl go out de.. den she also push all the blames to my frens.. den back to me.. den say wad my frens making use of me.. pulling my nose and walk.. den say i too stupid (rather than saying 'kind') everytime help ppl...

arghh! i hate it lor! den she continue say i nv contribute.. nv tidy up my room.. say i treat my house as hotel.. come in slp only den go out.. den ok.. fine.. i shut up and heck care.. den i on air con.. den she shout again "HAVEN BATH DEN WAN ON AIRCON".. how the toot many times i say i dowan bath liao!.. den suddenly.. father came out of shower and rush into my room and scold me.. i forgot wad he says liao lah.. but i noe last phrase is "DUN COME BACK LAH! GO OUT LIAO DEN DUN COME BACK LAH! DUN TREAT THIS AS UR HOME!"...oh.. i remember.. den say i nv tidy.. nv help.. den always go out.. den fren ask me go out den go out.. den all these again lah.. den mother came in and add oil to the fire.. say wad ask my frens 'yang wo' lo.. wah lauu!!! these type of thgs they can also say! as if i hav frens are wrong like tat! i dun wish to be like them lor! i can say.. everyone hates them! even my relatives in malaysia also dun like my mother.. den father side.. i dunno at all! cuz my father NEVER tok to them one! even though he is the elder son.. den.. frens.. HA?! i think his frens make use of him more ahh! sell him thgs so ex.. den he keep saying cheap.. dun believe wad i say somemore!

den my mother.. can quarrel with an auntie in the market over 20cents.. den say nv ever go buy frm tat stall again.. wad the?! den all those 'facts' my father say.. got 80% i wont believe one.. cuz always.. wad they say are nt true...

arghhh~ heck lah.. den i damn angry.. they shout at me go bath again.. say wad i very dirty.. wadever shit.. den i damn angry... i went in to the toilet and shower for 30mins.. come out giv them black face den come back here write blog.. den wanted to blast music into my ears..

but dammit! i dun hav a gd headset.. got few.. all wires nt long enough! den wan to use some portable media player.. but sianz! i dun hav any! wan use music to cool myself als difficult ahh! den no choice.. hav to use my voice headset.. got abit prob one.. one side no sound one to 'blast' musics into my ears.... nt so loud also.. arghhh~~

sian ahh! tml i wanna go cycle liao!!!! no choice.. no frens can go.. also wont wan trouble them.. so i will go alone.. i wanna wake up at 8am and leave the hse asap! heck liao lah! my parents nv realise how i hate to be at home now.. suxs! wanna relax also cannot.. if no one around.. can lah.. but when they come back.. wah lau! how to rest?! like tat.. how to make me stay at home! den now complain say i dowan stay.. plz lah! giv me some gd factors or reasons tat make me to stay lah! either i get scoldings or naggings or accuse for doing some shit thgs.. even if i nv do it.. they will also say i did.. den will ask me do this and tat.. wtf?! i wan rest cannot?! den i play game.. den kena scold till siao.. like tat.. i might as well go out alone! tats y.. dun find it strange to see me go out alone.. its better than staying at home.. parents nv care all these at all...mayb they hav their own views.. but i lazy to care right now!!! i'm damn angry!

i tahan tahan very long liao! i wanna explode!!!! now i dowan make decisions liao.. no use! parents will in the end choose for me even though they appear to giv me choices.. den sometimes.. i juz got so fed up, sick and tired of it.. i heck care.. den they will say i nv care for anythg for the hse.. wtf?!!!!!

heck heck.. now this jc poly thgy.. i dunno liao lah! as i said before.. last time they wan me go jc.. den overseas.. den poly.. den jc again.. den say i cannot go jc cuz of this and tat.. den wan me go overseas.. den ask me attend this and tat.. den in the end nth is done... den now ask me go poly.. say i not capable for this and tat.. den now ask me go poly open hse all these to see.. i noe there are nth for me to see.. den they say ask me go get goodie bags.. den FINE! i go take.. den try to pull frens go with me.. so embrassing.. but nvm! i go! den got one time.. no one wans to go.. nvm! i go alone! since they keep saying "POLY OPEN HSE MUST GO! MUZ GO REGISTER.. SO TAT THEY WILL PUT UR NAME ON THE TOP LIST.. SO IF U WAN GO IN.. IT'S EASIER.. " damn bullshit lah! i go open hse.. why the heck they wan to care abt who got go?! den i wan go liao.. den they ask who i go with.. den i buay song.. den say i go with myself lor! den they like "HUH?! u urself only?! ur frens leh?! y they dowan go?! so gd y dowan go?! if urself den might as well dun go"... wah lan eh.. before tat.. they nt like tat say one lor! their tone was like forcing me to go.. nvm! skip this topic

ok.. then they appear to let me choose wad course i wan in poly.. but actually i hav no interest in all the courses now.. den actually.. in my father's mind.. he wans me go engineering.. but now.. everyone noes tat engineering nt as good as last time liao! hav a diploma in tat is like no use lor.. my frens even ask me dun folo wad he says.. but i think of the consequences.. i will die under their hands before i go out to work if i dun folo.. but if i folo.. i will die after i go to work.. den they ask my frens wan choose wad.. den i say biondi wan choose aerospace engineering.. den next day...

my father suddenly say.. "actually hor.. aerospace engineering very gd.. cuz u learn alot.. den can come out start business on those machines.. " wtf?! aerospace leh! all on the air planes thgs.. den he say "NO~ engineering this one learn everythg one! sure can one lah! trust me lah! i study before.. ( crap! ) .. very gd one! dun believe is u die.. ".. say until in a tone tat i 'FEI' believe him 'BU KE'... arghh~~ now i heck liao lah!

now i set liao lah! they decide everythg lah! die den die lah! no choice liao lah! my life gonna be controlled under their hands.. i fail.. they will blame me also.. but nt as bad as i nv folo wad they say and i fail.. they will blame me more.. heck lah! both also blame! both also results in death! heck lahHhh!!

they choose wad they wan me to go lah! fail den fail lah! nt interested in anythg liao lah! gonna fail in their hands ahh!!! DAMN IT!

----------------------------------
reply to biondi's comments:

no use de.. if i slp.. my mother will BEAT ME or else my father will carry and throw me out.. tried before le... lock the door worse.. even when morning i dowan wake up.. u noe waD? my mother tickle me! wah lau.. like i 6 yr old kid like tat.. damn irritating lor..

and how the he** i noe the brand of the shampoo? they juz nt happy cuz i take frm my fren when i hav...den say wad? say my hse noisy and wan go outside? u wan me die? they will say i saying they noisy.. will say i wish them to leave earilier.. or else say i like tat relax nt enough meh?

but tat parent's mindset one i dunno lah.. for me now.. they are ridiculous!
and.. my hse here got park connector lah.. cycle to bedok.. to east coast.. heck lah.. stay out can liao lah.. but the bad thg now is.. NO MP3!

den u say wad.. go cycle till 6 come home? they call until my hp break ahh! den come home liao they will shout shout shout.. den continue wad they always do.. wan slp also cannot.. when writing blog.. they will shoot till i drown ahh.. surf net somemore.. they off electricity ahh.. slp.. they beat me ahh.. 8am wake.. wake liao kena scold ar?

pandaboo penned at 2/04/2006 01:05:00 am

Comments:

ok, firstly i would like to state that aerospace engineering is not learn everything and u do not learn accounting or any form of business setting up studies in this field. Secondly, aerospace engineering does not gurentee you learning EVERYTHING about machines. And thirdly, i might like it you might not. So UNCLE dun force ur son. And WR, you should say Biondi wants to go to < insert course of your choice here>. I allow you to use my name to state any course of your choice.

ok, next thing. Your mother wants you to bath, your father wants you to bath. My parents do the same thing. How to counter??? just close ur eyes and lie on ur bed and pretend to slp. they shake u do wadever they wan u dun wake up can liao. they ask u use wad shampoo just state the brand. which frien = classmate.. =) or u can say the shampoo provided or just say dunno which frien 1.

they say tired dun go. u say in this house so noisy, i need to go out to relax or sth lor. and they dun wan u go out i tink is because they want u to keep them company. u see ar, you are their only child. besides each other, you are the only one that they can talk to. not only are you worried, they are also worried about you. its just that they don't know how to tell you what they are worried about. like inside them they feel so helpless and fustrated that they start to imagine things, like you mixing wif bad company and stuff. thats wad adults think la. we all still considered childish, cannot understand this type of things. mayb they think if u mix wif bad company then go jail no1 will take care of them, likewise wif the poly and jc thing. and they imagine that if u go open house it will be easier for u to get in, its sth like assuming la but to them its how things are done or its better to be safe than sorry or sth la.
adults have these kind of thinking i tink =/ u grow up den u will noe??? i also dunno only guessing and thinking of the most logical reason lor.

u wan relax dun need blast music, go slp. or drink... nvm u underage :P so tml u go cycle... cycle to where??? cycle until leg pain??? or cycle arnd singapore until night then come home and get scolded again and then type blog again??? y not cycle then come home arnd 6 go bath and slp when u wake up go write blog then surf net and slp until next morning 8am ur parents sure nth to say. =)

# posted by

Anonymous : 2:31 am