Alright, I will try not to use vulgarities as much as possible. Or else, this post will be filled with it.
Well, I'm experiencing many sorts of emotions/feelings/mood this week. I'm filled with anger, sadness, confusions and depression. Okay, the story begins..
Last week, we already heard rumours that we might get deployed out to carry out some duties for 1 month and most of us should be leaving the training ground on monday.
We got more excited on sunday as we have sources that this rumour is confirmed. 30 odd of us should get deployed to divisions by monday. So, I believe that high chance I will get send out since I passed every single test. Only those that have not completed their test or fail the test will stay.
Then on Monday, few guys in uniform came with a list. The FI then started to call ppl out. My whole squad got called out at first. Then when we approached him, he started 'filtering' us by reading the names. Names are then called..."Ho see hao...kyle..Law yi ming...."
and next "Lim qing wen.."...
'fug! where is my name?" Well, I'm still having high hopes because I thought he may be just separating us into different divisions. But as he finish reading the names, he congrats the 23 of them who got called and ask them to wave bye bye to us. And telling the 9 of us standing at one side that we are the "left overs". I got shocked. Seriously shocked.
We were sent back to our seats and we started questioning each other. No answers.
After that, we got information from our OC that 4 of them failed compulsory question. 1 Failed the law test. 2 of them have not take their pdt test. And the other one is Pes C9. That left with me. I stared at her and she stared at me.
"Why are you here?"
I was damn emo at that time and replied.. "How I know? why am i here?"
No one knows the reason why I did not get deployed. Then we started guessing. They say that I maybe got selected for OCT. But i ask myself.. "selected for OCT interview cannot get depoyed meh?"
Then, I think for the whole dam day while i see my squad mates busy packing up their stuffs and smiling at me. They keep on repeating that "we are in a rush, we need to report by 2".. Then another came in and say "lets go.. we need to get our warrant cards..". If I can, I really feel like whacking them. Can't they be more sensitive to those that are not deployed?
I thought the whole damn day.
-I got Gold for IPPT. Most of them(those deployed) got silver only.
-I got Marksman for Shooting. Some others got 2nd class only.
-I passed pdt test. On my first try somemore.
-I passed my SBT with 84%, higher than most of the others.
-I passed my drills test. Some others got even lower marks than me.
-I got Cat B for swimming. Some others got Cat C and can't swim at all.
-My BMI low? There is one guy who got 16 for BMI.
-I got a clean list for MCs/Light duty. Means I did not take any MC at all. Never ever been to the Medical officer at all. There are a few of them that loved to chaokeng, got deployed.
-My peer appraisal low? I believe there is 1 other guy even lower.
-I passed the freaking Law test with 87%. Some got even lower.
-Most importantly, I did not get any compulsory question wrong. There are 2 that confirmed got it wrong but is not registered by the marker.
-I'm the only child? Another guy also only child.
-Selected for OCT? By what? There is one guy with 97% for law. I can't be the best in studies and also cannot be the best trainee. Why me for OCT?
-I got a full A level Cert, some don't even have a full cert.
Looking at all these reasons, I have totally no fugging explanation why I'm stuck in that training ground. I hoped so much that I could go out there and experience the world. How I wish to screen cars at checkpoints, patrol in the train, raiding jungles, patrolling the streets, camping at some site with a bino, walking around East coast park. I missed out all these.
I'm stuck in HomeTeam Academy doing some drills. Being the supporting contigent. The parade does not seem to be set specially for us, but for the OCTs that will be in white and carrying rifles. My squad's marching strength is less than 8 and we are so pathetic that we have to join other squads to march.
Moreover, we practise the drills without the OCTs. So much practise for us while the OCTs will only come in during the very last week. I'm sure they will make more mistakes and we got to redo everything again. Damn waste of time.
It's not that I don't like the POP drills, this time should be the best time of the NS life. Slacking around and doing everything. And shouting 'POP lo' with our squad mates. But things just changed. How would you feel when you go back to your bunk and only 2 of you inside? I'm feeling dam shitty and depressed. I am treated unfairly.
Then, my OC says that she found out the reason why I did not get deployed. It is because I'm 198th on the list while they only need 197. I have no idea why i'm the last. Sorting by IC and name do not make me last. Don't even need to say results.
Even if that's the case, then why they never find me as replacement for those that got MC on that day? They went to the Pes C squad and get replacement.
Did they forgot the pathetic soul in Squad 2 that Aced every single shit test but did not get deployed?Now, we can only hope that our squad mates are around to enjoy the times here.
But well, they will never be. They are enjoying themselves outside and going home everyday.
pandaboo penned at 4/18/2008 10:00:00 pm
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think free.live free
Nooo!!! I'm botak once again! Can you believe it?! okay.. mayb u can -.- but i cant!!! I'm supposed to be a senior trainee and going to POP soon!! How can they do this to us?! They already confirmed the last hair cut 2 weeks ago! My hair that is 2 mths long is gone now!! ahhh~
All because of some stupid guy. He go gel is hair for the photoshoot session and the commander saw it. Then he make the rule that every trainee must be botak. damn! It would take at least 4 mths frm now to get back my previous hair..!
And ohya, this following week COULD be the last week i'm in there training. I MAY get selected for deployment for 1mth outside before coming back here again.
and this week is somehow the last week for all the lessons and trainings.. My SBT test is on monday.. PDT test on tuesday and Law test on friday... after that.. another week onwards will just be boring drills and drills for next 3 weeks.. Well, we are getting more relaxed and more daring to go against the rule cuz we are the 'old birds' already.. haha.. thus u can find eggs.. can food like sausages.. and even kettle in my bunk..! lolx!! here is one pic of my cabinet...
Snacks include biscuits..chocolates and packs of tea/milo =D
oh.. haven't seen my cup noodles and oreo pack..plus we finished the bread i bought too =D
eh.. dun get the wrong idea.. these are shared in my bunk.. i paid merely $3 for these.. i'm nt so rich to get all of them...
my bunk.. trying to act cool but looks like a gang instead.. police gang.. lolx
okay.. i'm supposed to study 6 thick books of law and CPC... but i think u all also can guess that i wont even touch it.. haha.. but i have 2 thick stacks of notes that cost $32.. 1 of them with me and i need to complete it by this week.. stress liao...
pandaboo penned at 4/04/2008 10:40:00 pm
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think free.live free
