Saturday, February 04, 2006
pump it~~ louder! Pump It~! Louder! PUMP IT!!~~
i'm now blasting songs and musics into my ears.. arghh.. so damn stupid day lah! nvm... i gonna complain abt everythg around me again.. so, if u nt interested.. it's ok for u to skip this post.. i just wan to explode!!
ok.. this morning.. went to school.. * i supposed u all noe its MI*.. seems like th first day of sch like tat.. woke up at 6.. tot i was early.. but i drag till 6.30.. but having realised that my concession stamp had expired.. i hav to walk to the bus stop tat hav bus 93.. i dunno how long it takes to walk there... so i was planning to meet kc first.. sms kc at 6.30am.. asking wad time he usually meet hafidz.. den i was abt to tell him i wan walk also in the next sms.. but den.. he replied only at 6.50am saying "6.45am" they meet.. den i finally really woke up tat i am damn late.. i rush everythg.. and i bite my own lips alot times when i was swallowing breads.. stupid! how the h*** did i bite my lips to many times! pain!!
den i rush down.. i am so late.. i need to take bus.. but while i was walking to the bus stop.. den i noe my ez-link no money.. and i left 1 50cents coin!! few mins left.. i ran all the way down to the 93 bus stop.. half way.. the heaven was so kind and started to drizzle.. or wadever it is spelt.. den i took out my umbrella and ran! ran to the bus stop.. heng.. they are still there.. den i realised to forgot my MI pin.. arghh.. stupid..
den nvm.. go sch.. morning.. stomachache! but joel and kc are using the toilets.. no choice.. tahan.. den to the assembly.. the whole gym was usually FULL of Pre-U 1 only..this time.. half the gym was taken up by the P-2 and 3.. see lah.. like tat can estimate how many ppl nv come liao.. den the home tutor ( form teacher) see us den noe we skip alot days liao.. dammit.. y so suay..
den the lessons was as usual boring.. and we skip geog tutorial and went to hav lunch.. after tat.. went back to bnss to find mr goh.. i dunno y i am so gd.. y shld i be so guai go find him? mr beh noe abt it liao also laugh at me say i bo liao.. come to get ang bao only.. Zzzz.. so embrassing
den in the end! cannot find him! nvm.. i go home.. den awhile later i cycle to victor's hse to help him on presentation thgs and put songs in mp3.. den slack there lah..
den when i come back.. i tell my mother i will be going swimming later.. den she nv say anythg.. den i was abit tired.. so i slp awhile.. den she scold.. scold i slp on my bed when i am dirty.. den ask me slp on sofa.. i haven lie down for 1 min! or even 30sec.. she started to scold again.. say i so tired den dun go swimming lah.. say wad "dun always folo ur frens.. they ask u go den go.. u can say dun go one mah! muz learn how to reject.. dun be so nice.. ".. and all those craps tat i dun wan to remember..
den i heck.. go swim lor.. enjoyed myself.. so happy.. den go eat supper.. shiok.. went home happily.. but first step into my door.. "WHY SO LATE?!".. "WHO GOT GO? 2 PPL ONLY AR?!".. "NEXT TIME TIRED DEN DUN GO.. DUN LET UR FRENS PULL UR NOSE AND WALK".. "CAN REJECT DEN REJECT".. den... non stop.. i haven even sit down.. i went into my room.. "DUN ALWAYS COME HOME DEN ON COMP.. GO BATH!".. wah lan eh.. i damn tired.. let me rest awhile cannot ar.. den.. "WHO GOT GO?!"..."GOT BATH ANOT? GOT USE SOAP? GOT WASH HAIR? THE WATER THERE VERY DIRTY.. MUZ WASH.. ".. i haven reply anythg den.. "U VERY DIRTY LAH! SO LAZY TO WASH.. FASTER GO BATH NOW!".. den i say i bath abit liao.. juz tat nv use soap.. but got use shampoo.. den tired... dowan bath liao.. den they continue liao.. "WHO'S SHAMPOO'S U USE?!".. den i say my malay fren one.. den they like tn happy.. "U GOT SHAMPOO Y U DOWAN BRING?! Y WAN USE OTHER'S ONE?! U NOE VERY DIRTY OR NOT?!".. wtf?! same shampoo.. as if other ppl's one got poison like tat?!!! very WU LI QU NAO lor!... i hate this.. i haven say anythg den all words come shooting at me.. haven ans.. they also ans for me.. i think somehow like in the I NOT STUPID TOO.. but mine is a WORSE version..
den again.. my mother repeat.. den my father come "GO BATH LAH! U WAN BATH GO BATH NOW! OR I WAN GO IN LIAO!".. den i say i dowan liao.. den they shoot again lor.. den nvm.. i heck care.. on comp.. den father went to bath.. mother come.. and nag me.. say wad i nv contribute to the house.. ppl ask me go out den go out.. den say "IF U TIRED DEN GO LAH! THEY CANNOT FORCE U TO GO.. ".. all these crap lah.. but she nv realise.. I ENJOY GOING OUT! I WANT TO GO!~.. nt ppl force one! plz lah! sometimes.. is i ask ppl go out de.. den she also push all the blames to my frens.. den back to me.. den say wad my frens making use of me.. pulling my nose and walk.. den say i too stupid (rather than saying 'kind') everytime help ppl...
arghh! i hate it lor! den she continue say i nv contribute.. nv tidy up my room.. say i treat my house as hotel.. come in slp only den go out.. den ok.. fine.. i shut up and heck care.. den i on air con.. den she shout again "HAVEN BATH DEN WAN ON AIRCON".. how the toot many times i say i dowan bath liao!.. den suddenly.. father came out of shower and rush into my room and scold me.. i forgot wad he says liao lah.. but i noe last phrase is "DUN COME BACK LAH! GO OUT LIAO DEN DUN COME BACK LAH! DUN TREAT THIS AS UR HOME!"...oh.. i remember.. den say i nv tidy.. nv help.. den always go out.. den fren ask me go out den go out.. den all these again lah.. den mother came in and add oil to the fire.. say wad ask my frens 'yang wo' lo.. wah lauu!!! these type of thgs they can also say! as if i hav frens are wrong like tat! i dun wish to be like them lor! i can say.. everyone hates them! even my relatives in malaysia also dun like my mother.. den father side.. i dunno at all! cuz my father NEVER tok to them one! even though he is the elder son.. den.. frens.. HA?! i think his frens make use of him more ahh! sell him thgs so ex.. den he keep saying cheap.. dun believe wad i say somemore!
den my mother.. can quarrel with an auntie in the market over 20cents.. den say nv ever go buy frm tat stall again.. wad the?! den all those 'facts' my father say.. got 80% i wont believe one.. cuz always.. wad they say are nt true...
arghhh~ heck lah.. den i damn angry.. they shout at me go bath again.. say wad i very dirty.. wadever shit.. den i damn angry... i went in to the toilet and shower for 30mins.. come out giv them black face den come back here write blog.. den wanted to blast music into my ears..
but dammit! i dun hav a gd headset.. got few.. all wires nt long enough! den wan to use some portable media player.. but sianz! i dun hav any! wan use music to cool myself als difficult ahh! den no choice.. hav to use my voice headset.. got abit prob one.. one side no sound one to 'blast' musics into my ears.... nt so loud also.. arghhh~~
sian ahh! tml i wanna go cycle liao!!!! no choice.. no frens can go.. also wont wan trouble them.. so i will go alone.. i wanna wake up at 8am and leave the hse asap! heck liao lah! my parents nv realise how i hate to be at home now.. suxs! wanna relax also cannot.. if no one around.. can lah.. but when they come back.. wah lau! how to rest?! like tat.. how to make me stay at home! den now complain say i dowan stay.. plz lah! giv me some gd factors or reasons tat make me to stay lah! either i get scoldings or naggings or accuse for doing some shit thgs.. even if i nv do it.. they will also say i did.. den will ask me do this and tat.. wtf?! i wan rest cannot?! den i play game.. den kena scold till siao.. like tat.. i might as well go out alone! tats y.. dun find it strange to see me go out alone.. its better than staying at home.. parents nv care all these at all...mayb they hav their own views.. but i lazy to care right now!!! i'm damn angry!
i tahan tahan very long liao! i wanna explode!!!! now i dowan make decisions liao.. no use! parents will in the end choose for me even though they appear to giv me choices.. den sometimes.. i juz got so fed up, sick and tired of it.. i heck care.. den they will say i nv care for anythg for the hse.. wtf?!!!!!
heck heck.. now this jc poly thgy.. i dunno liao lah! as i said before.. last time they wan me go jc.. den overseas.. den poly.. den jc again.. den say i cannot go jc cuz of this and tat.. den wan me go overseas.. den ask me attend this and tat.. den in the end nth is done... den now ask me go poly.. say i not capable for this and tat.. den now ask me go poly open hse all these to see.. i noe there are nth for me to see.. den they say ask me go get goodie bags.. den FINE! i go take.. den try to pull frens go with me.. so embrassing.. but nvm! i go! den got one time.. no one wans to go.. nvm! i go alone! since they keep saying "POLY OPEN HSE MUST GO! MUZ GO REGISTER.. SO TAT THEY WILL PUT UR NAME ON THE TOP LIST.. SO IF U WAN GO IN.. IT'S EASIER.. " damn bullshit lah! i go open hse.. why the heck they wan to care abt who got go?! den i wan go liao.. den they ask who i go with.. den i buay song.. den say i go with myself lor! den they like "HUH?! u urself only?! ur frens leh?! y they dowan go?! so gd y dowan go?! if urself den might as well dun go"... wah lan eh.. before tat.. they nt like tat say one lor! their tone was like forcing me to go.. nvm! skip this topic
ok.. then they appear to let me choose wad course i wan in poly.. but actually i hav no interest in all the courses now.. den actually.. in my father's mind.. he wans me go engineering.. but now.. everyone noes tat engineering nt as good as last time liao! hav a diploma in tat is like no use lor.. my frens even ask me dun folo wad he says.. but i think of the consequences.. i will die under their hands before i go out to work if i dun folo.. but if i folo.. i will die after i go to work.. den they ask my frens wan choose wad.. den i say biondi wan choose aerospace engineering.. den next day...
my father suddenly say.. "actually hor.. aerospace engineering very gd.. cuz u learn alot.. den can come out start business on those machines.. " wtf?! aerospace leh! all on the air planes thgs.. den he say "NO~ engineering this one learn everythg one! sure can one lah! trust me lah! i study before.. ( crap! ) .. very gd one! dun believe is u die.. ".. say until in a tone tat i 'FEI' believe him 'BU KE'... arghh~~ now i heck liao lah!
now i set liao lah! they decide everythg lah! die den die lah! no choice liao lah! my life gonna be controlled under their hands.. i fail.. they will blame me also.. but nt as bad as i nv folo wad they say and i fail.. they will blame me more.. heck lah! both also blame! both also results in death! heck lahHhh!!
they choose wad they wan me to go lah! fail den fail lah! nt interested in anythg liao lah! gonna fail in their hands ahh!!! DAMN IT!
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reply to biondi's comments:
no use de.. if i slp.. my mother will BEAT ME or else my father will carry and throw me out.. tried before le... lock the door worse.. even when morning i dowan wake up.. u noe waD? my mother tickle me! wah lau.. like i 6 yr old kid like tat.. damn irritating lor..
and how the he** i noe the brand of the shampoo? they juz nt happy cuz i take frm my fren when i hav...den say wad? say my hse noisy and wan go outside? u wan me die? they will say i saying they noisy.. will say i wish them to leave earilier.. or else say i like tat relax nt enough meh?
but tat parent's mindset one i dunno lah.. for me now.. they are ridiculous!
and.. my hse here got park connector lah.. cycle to bedok.. to east coast.. heck lah.. stay out can liao lah.. but the bad thg now is.. NO MP3!
den u say wad.. go cycle till 6 come home? they call until my hp break ahh! den come home liao they will shout shout shout.. den continue wad they always do.. wan slp also cannot.. when writing blog.. they will shoot till i drown ahh.. surf net somemore.. they off electricity ahh.. slp.. they beat me ahh.. 8am wake.. wake liao kena scold ar?
pandaboo penned at 2/04/2006 01:05:00 am
think free.live free
: 2:31 am