written only at 17th April 2006 12.40am
yay.. ytd was a rainning day.. so shiok.. rain rain.. so peaceful.. rain juz gives me a peaceful feeling...somemore my parents went out juz now.. so i was alone at home.. doing my hw.. which till now i haven finish.. haha
haiz.. i'm taking a risk.. taking a risk to come jc.. it is somethg like betting..just that i myself control whether i will win or not. with my grades.. i shldn't be coming to jc..jc dun really suits me.. but den.. i got no choice.. i do not noe wad course i shld take in poly..so i came to jc.. taking up the biggest risk ever.. if i fail.. tats probably the end of me. and yes.. my fren said.. if he fail the promotional exams this year.. he may transfer to poly..i may also be doing tat if i fail badly..
my sch's promotional exam is quite easy to pass, we just hav to pass 2 H2 subjects and one H1 subject.. and tat of course must be GP..this is actually the min. requirement to go into uni..but meeting the min. req. doesn't ensure tat u will get into the course u wan..it's the no. of distinctions tat matters.. i am so scared right now, i'm scared i made the wrong choice to take this risk.. becuz..ever since i took on the risk.. i am at the edge of falling already..am i able to climb up to the safety region? tat is difficult to say.. yes.. i shld hav confidence in myself.. but sometimes.. my conscious mind will tell me.. "stop lying to urself".. sometimes.. the pressure tat make me feel i will fail.. is so great...
i took on this jc life.. this life is replete with stress and enjoyment, depends on how i live it..i cant prognosticate my this bet.. whether i will win or lose.. i noe i have to work hard in order to win.. i really need to work extra.. more than the others.. i am one of the lousiest in grade in this sch.. cuz very little 16 pointers can get in to this sch.. so.. i face quite alot of pressure.. haiz..
i need to strive harder to get up to the safety region.. i really need.. but i percieve difficulties in putting these hardwork into practice.. i duno y.. mayb i'm just lazy or wad.. or it's juz my bad habits tat make it so difficult.. haiz..
everyday in jc life seems to be a week before the 'O' levels exams.. where everyone will be studying.. mugging.. individually.. and also.. is when i stay up so late still doing my hw.. i never did tat in my normal secondary sch days..* except sometimes tat i need to complete some stuffs or else i will get strangled by the teacher*...
slping late have become very common now.. i do not really get enough slp.. mayb it's my own fault.. my choice to play games before i complete my work.. but the enjoyment in playing games is really irresistible..both my frens and i are free only after my sch.. and before midnight.. so.. this is the only time i can play games together with them.. it's NOT fun to play alone!.. so.. i gave up my work and went to play.. and in the end.. i stayed up late to complete my work.. even so.. i still cannot finish wad i supposed to do.. haiz.. sad.. wth is the use of writing this post?! i feel like selecting all and delete it right now.. but nvm.. an ans came to my mind.. it's cuz i wan to arrange all my feelings together.. in one post..
i strongly have the feeling of working alone.. like in the times when i pia for o lvl.. i dunno how to decribe tat feeling.. but it will be nice if got one or 2 person pia with me.. at the same pace..
i bought this badminton racquet tat really suits me!
juz jking.. haha..
pandaboo penned at 4/17/2006 01:16:00 am
think free.live free
: 7:47 pm