arghh!! i hate maids!! ok.. dun tok abt anythg else.. juz tok abt somethg tat juz happened.. when i am coming home.. this is how it happen...
i go into the lift.. and a maid pushing an elderly on a wheelchair faster rush in.. den the elderly look at me and making some noise.. "hmm!! hmm!!! hmm!!!!" in a very pityful way.. and the maid juz shouted at her in hokkien i think somethg like "diam lah!" den the elderly stopped...seems to scare of her.. tat shouldnt be.... den reached 4th floor.. the maid and the elderly went out.. i found somethg weird.. my first tot was to call the police.. i dunno wad to do.. but i had no evidence to anythg.. i observed.. den another maid B frm my neighbour hse came out and tok to the maid A.. they tok loudly.. laugh loudly.. and like playing wif hp.. den nv even care abt the elderly.. at tat time.. i dun hav keys to my hse.. and my mum is nt at home.. so i had to wait.. i wait and i observed...
i really dun feel gd and i sms hafidz.. hy.. and called daniel.. daniel ask me call police.. but i no evidence.. den hafidz and hy reply same thg.. ask me tok to the maid.. and the elderly.. but i dunno how!!! arghh!! so i can only wait for my mother to come back.. den i think think think.. think till i even use the plant to help me decide... i asked "shld i go help?" and i count the leaves the plant hav.. and den "yes no yes no...yes..no...yes".. ended wif yes..but i got no evidence of the maid torturing the elderly or wad.. i cant do anythg...
den i walk towards them.. while the 2 maids is chatting and playing.. the elderly.. my neighour came out.. trying to tok to the elderly A on the wheelchair.. but she also can do nth cuz she also elderly.. so.. awhile later.. the maid leave.. i followed them downstairs.. i saw her pushing the wheelchair very fast to near a playground.. where there is a grp of maids.. toking and chatting away.. leaving their elderly there.. like heck care them.. omg.. i dunno wad to do.. i stand far away to observed.. but den my mother called and ask me go home...
i went home.. asked her wad shld i do.. as expected.. she ask me dun care cuz i had no evidence.. i dunno wad to do and i dun feel gd!! i think i shld do somethg when i saw the maid shout at the elderly in the lift! i regreted!!! arghh!!! wad shld i do now?! i now had a feeling tat i wanted to be a police.. yah.. i always wanted to.. den i also hate myself for being "wu nen wei li"..only can "xiu shou pang guang"..wad else? i hate myself.. i cant speak hokkien.. i cant speak malay.. i'm such a failure.. i can do nth.. ARGHH!!
now i really hate maids...all these thgs.. and now i'm scared.. i'm now 15 years old.. going 16.. my parents.. one is 60 years old and another is 50+++.. can u count? can u see the gap? the age gap? the generation gap?? when they are 70.. really old tat type.. i am juz out of ns? or university? or mayb still working.. i'm still young.. but i hav to support them.. i had no siblings...and relatives.. dun hav much relatives tat is in gd relationship one.. so.. i had to support them and take care of them.. i will NEVER hire a maid to look after them.. i thinking of finding a gd gf to help me to take care of them.. a gd wife... but i realise its nt easy to find one.. very difficult indeed.. so how? i hav to work and most probably till very late.. wad if they need help at home? tot of sending them to homes.. but they wont like it.. and i wont like tat feeling also...so how?! tats the problem i'm always facing.. at this age.. i'm already thinking so far.. so wad shall i do???!!!!!
i feel so weak now.. i'm gd for nth.. i hate myself.. i hate myself.. i hate myself..
pandaboo penned at 6/15/2005 06:28:00 pm
think free.live free
: 11:00 pm
