Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I feel that i'm lacking something. No idea what is it. But these few days, i'm feeling dam shag and i can't even sleep well.
I stayed at home last few days except for going to school ytd and today...i'm feeling dam bored and i feel lost. Lost in the middle of no where. Prelims ended and i have that feeling. I don't know where to go. I am rushing, but i dunno where.
Well, I got back my chem and maths results. It suxs. I thought that i could get at least a 50% for both subject but it is far away from my expectation. I know I've not put in enough efforts, but i feel that i did my best and i really deserve that U? I have no idea. I am feeling so dam demoralised. I know, i have to move on and stop wasting time whining about the past. But this feeling is there and i have to address it before i can let it go. I just lost my source of motivation. I'm now awaiting for my physics and econs results. Heard that only 5 ppl passed phy in my class and 3 slots are already taken. left the only 2. probability? 2/15....
Somehow, I have the urge to know my econs grade. I am expecting quite alot for my econs. Yah, the truth is, i am expecting to see results for my phy and econs more than any other subjects since last year.
Now I'm left with 1 month. One pathetic month for me to rush and run and catch up. While time is short, it is still limited by many other factors. Effectively, I have less than 5 hours a day for revision and everything. I believe that it is not enough. No choice, if i cannot do well and get into a local university with a good course, I will have a difficult path later on. My father may send me overseas, not that i have the money to go overseas, i have no idea how is he going to get the money. Or worse come to worse, sign on army. I don't want.
Alright, stop talking about academic stuffs.
There were few essays and comprehension passages talking about how we humans live our lives. Saying that we are so busy that we don't even have time for pure leisure. I immediately agreed to it. However, after thinking through again, I found that I spent more on leisure time than on true work. My brain seems to be in idle mode most of the time without any constructive ideas. Lying on bed thinking about so many things that became zero. Waste of time eh? But i still feel that I don't have enough time. What happen? Maybe taking a course on psychology will help me solve my problems.
Ohya, wanted to get back my motivation and everything, i went to cycle alone again. Cycle all the way from my house to old airport road, through east coast park. That took me 1.15mins to reach there but 45mins to rush all the way back here. Tiring eh? But i somehow didn't felt it.
I feel sick. Sick from everything. This maybe my study days illness. And maybe everything will be better after i recover. I have so many things planned for the days after As now. But somehow i feel that i will feel bored during the holidays. Weird eh? Maybe the phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side" can explain this.
So people, work hard for this last 2 months and there you go. Having free time to play, to do whatever you want. For the guys, play hard before you get your enlistment letter. hahaha!
Good luck all!!
pandaboo penned at 9/25/2007 09:23:00 pm
think free.live free
: 12:12 pm