I am writing this post for YOU to read. No sure whether you will read it calmly or not. But i feel that I must do this to make sure you understand. I know I am not involved at all but I don't want to see things worsen.
Firstly, from what I can see. You are trying to push the blame. I am not sure whether you accept the partial fault or not. But it seems to me that you do not accept your fault. You misplace the item. That is a fact and it is You who misplace it, not anyone else. You can't blame the owner of the item for letting someone else take his item. That is because he entrust his frens to take care of his item and this also means he will get the item back. But the thing is, he do not get the item back and this means the trust is broken. Who broke the trust? Not the owner, but the person who took it. It maybe her or you. That is the part that I cannot decide. Because we will see it differently.
You see it as a good deed for helping her to carry the item. And you are saying that that's a great deed and you should be thanked. However, you carry the item and you lost it. So how will she thank you when you lost it? She will get into trouble because this also means she lost the item. She will hound you while the owner hound her. Will she say "Thank you alot for helping me hold..".. ".. and thank you for losing it so that I will pay?"
Put yourself in the owner's shoe. If that phone was yours. You are kind and always frens borrow your phone to play games. You lend them and you got it back with the hp being intact. This time, your friend took it like any other usual time and so you allowed it because you know you will get it back anyway. Do you think you are at fault? I mean, what fault are there when you will get back the phone?
At this point of time, you will say YES, he is at fault for trusting friends. I will shout back at you "yea rite..as if" Because logically, he trust his friends and he is at fault? what rubbish. Then you should get blamed for buying drinks and food for others every other time already. You should be blamed for collecting homeworks. But why no one blames you? They thank you instead. Simply because, you made sure the food gets into their hands safely.
Now, put yourself in her shoes. You took the hp to play as usual and know you will not lose it. Then you passed it on to another friend. This time, you entrusted your friend to take care of it also. Because you know he will take care of it and the hp will be safe and even returned to the owner. BUT, your friend loses the hp and you got blamed for passing it to him and scolded that he got dragged down by you. What will you think?
1st: You are in trouble because you have to explain to the owner.
2nd: Your friend broke the trust and blame you.
3rd: Your friend thinks that it is not his fault.
4th: You want to get the hp back from your friend so that you can give back the owner. Because you have no idea where he left the phone. You have no idea whether he hold it for 2 mins or 2 hours. You have to get from him.
Or will you turn around and blame the owner for letting you take the phone? Then give reasonings and say until "he deserves it"?
If everything don't turn out well. You have few choices.
1st: Take all the blame and say that you lost the phone and not your friend your friend who loses it.
2nd: Take the blame that you caused your friend to be careless and lost the phone
3rd: Take the blame that you gave him a chance to lose the phone
4th: Take the blame while your friend broke the trust.
5th: Take the blame again for trusting a wrong friend.
6th: Take the blame and curse that friend.
7th: Take the blame by siding your friend who blamed you, come out with a story and say that you lost it in the girls toilet.
Of course and obviously, she is at fault for taking the phone at first. She did not deny it. She is also at fault for smiling back at the owner when owner ask for it back. She admitted it. What else? What else that is logical?
Now go back to your side of the story. You misplaced the phone. Careless.
1st: You blamed the owner for letting her take the phone.
2nd: You blamed her to pass you the phone.
3rd: You blamed someone else for not knowing that the phone was at the bench.
4th: You blamed someone else for not noticing the phone was left behind.
5th: You blamed someone else for 'teleporting' the phone away.
6th: You blamed your friend who trusted you. *so u r saying tat u cannot be trusted?*
What fault did you admitted? What blame did you took? How responsible are you? Isn't it very obvious that you are pushing blames?
Now you say you were helpful to help carry things. But it is not helpful when you lose the things. It is equals to taking the items and throwing it away. Helpful? Think about it.
And now you come to a conclusion that you do not trust anyone. I don't think you have the rights to say this now.
You come to a conclusion that you shouldn't help anyone anymore. Good, you wont get blamed if things go wrong. However, you won't get thanked if things go right. You won't get involved in anything.
Just like you as a student. You attend school and take exams. Your scripts are sent to UK for marking. And the plane crashed on it's way there. Are you to blame? Say Yes and I accept all your reasonings. Would you pay again to take the exams? Or would you write a complain letter to MOE and demand the fees to be returned or another chance to take the exams.
If what you said is reasonable. Then you should be blamed for attending school and taking exams. Because you trusted the teachers, you trusted MOE, you trusted cambridge.
To YOU, think about it carefully and calmly. You are not a bad person. I am not against you at all. Really. If you don't believe and trust me, so be it. But I will be here to make sure you trust and believe me. I am harmless and I am not involved in it at all. I have no blames to push away. You have to understand others' side of story also. We understood your story. But the fact is there and your story doesn't explain it.
I don't want to see friendships get affected. I am here trying to help. For this, you can blame me for helping. You can blame me and sue me. You can blame me because I will be at fault if it fails. I won't blame you for it to fail.
And please, don't say "All odds are against me and im being blamed". Because, odds are not against you if you did not done something. Don't use the word "Framed" because no one framed you by throwing you a stained knife.
cheers.
PS. Being selfish is pushing away blames, Being safe is making sure nothing go wrong.
pandaboo penned at 5/30/2007 03:46:00 pm
think free.live free
: 11:18 pm