Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Made a fool out of myself today. I leaved blank for a 5 mark question for my chemistry practical paper. Am I very crazy? Everyone says I'm 'siao'. For part 2, people either get Zinc or Aluminium, but i got calcium. Stupid right? I actually wanted to write zinc, but i remember the table wrongly.
First time going into the 'O' level exam hall (or should i say lab?) being so 'blank'. Althought I tried to calm myself down and make myself relax, I still shiver when I am handling the apparatus and the substances. My mind was not filled with formulas or informations. I only remember how to differciate Lead and Aluminium because biondi taught me a lot of times. haha..
When the examiner said 'start', I sat there, don't know what to do next until i heard lots of sounds of people taking the apparatus all these. My mind was blank, and i feel that i am a Sec one student who knows nothing and go for the exam. Whereas the others are so prepared, came to school first thing is to discuss about wad solution is soluble in where. Stress me only -.-"
This feeling is very common, I always feel that I am not fit to be in this class. I am not fit to be in secondary 4. Do I really have the abilities? Are my knowledge enough? When i compare myself to others in my class, I really feel that they know more than me even though they score lower than me. Am i 'exam smart' or I have knowledge that they don't have? But, it seems that they know what I know and I don't know what they know. Until recently I went out to study with my good friend in other school and learnt these basics. Came to school and ask my classmates, they already knew what i learnt. I feel so.. so.. I really don't know how to describe. I feel so cut out from this world, maybe not the world, but my friends. In these periods when I skipped school, I did missed my classmates as wad xiao yun say. However, I finally had enough sleep, I do not feel as sleepy as before when i am studying. I feel much awake, much healthy.
This friday will be the last day for us to go for lessons in our class. The last day we will be in class together, wearing uniforms, sitting in our positions and listening (or playing) in class. We should make it memorable. Wait, i doesn't mean that other days are not memorable, but last day should be the MOST memorable. Like in Primary 6, by this time, people will be taking books for other to write their contact details all these. But for now, only hsiu ya and xiao yun asked people to write. What happens to others? They don't want to keep in touch? So many people are leaving Singapore already. I set up the MSN group and made pages for them to write contact details, only few wrote. Quite disappointed, but nevermind, I will help them fill up after 'O' Levels.
For every event, we will be taking lots of photos like the recent graduation ceremony. But then, when i view at the photos, they are either blur or lack of some people or they took pictures with the same usual group of people. The photos are usually the few, don't see the others in the pictures. Example the chinese girls in my class, seldom take pictures with guys or the non-chinese girls gang. Graduation ceremony that day, haven't take finish then they leave liao. Sad, but nevermind, we still have the prom =) I gonna keep these memories in my mind, and to enrich the memories with photos and videos. It is really nice when u look at your past pictures or videos, even though the picture/video may be funny or embarassing, it's still a nice scene. Some times, unposed pictures are nice to see, entertaining. So, kc! dun always complain ur picture is unposed or never take at the right time or not handsome lah.. u handsome enough le lah...=P
okok, its 1am now, gonna go read up some Social Studies. I need help for A-Maths, I think my knowledge for A maths is like in sec 3 like that.. i totally forgotten everything. Biondi can do better than me.. samuel can do better than me.. everyone does better than me.. but i dunno y my prelim results is a pass.. mayb i'm just lucky.. dun think tat i really can do it.. i am just lucky.. same goes for my chem.. kc.. dun say my standards is better than u.. i am not..i am just lucky that my MCQ pulled me up...
Once Again, Good Luck for all of you all's Exams, Every paper Every Exam and Everything you all do!
Quote of the day " Bamboo always leans the way it's pushed the hardest."
Estimated Time Remaining to 'O' Levels Practical exams :
NOWEstimated Time Remaining to 'O' Levels Written Papers :
295hrs 50mins ( 12 days )
pandaboo penned at 10/26/2005 01:16:00 am
think free.live free
: 2:23 am