ok la.. i gt abit time.. reply to ur comments..
for daniel.. he say he also fan.. but he only fan npcc stuffs wad.. juz a small thg.. i fan my hw.. fan my family.. fan abt my life... really! my initial aim is to get 12 points for 'O' lvl.. and get into TJC.. and TJC i heard is 8 points.. and now my L1R5 is 21!!! how can i use a mirror to invert it? and i think.. first i hav to use tat mirror to relfect on myself first.. haiz..
den.. is my parents.. i said my parents are old.. yup.. i think when i'm 20 years old.. they will be 60+ or even 70 liao.. i hav to take care of them.. and i planned to get married before 30.. but... who gonna take care of them? they will be 70+ at tat time.. and.. it's a very very worrying age lo.. who gonna help me? NO ONE! i'm the only child.. yup.. only me.. i gonna do all sorts of thg.. myself.. and.. my mother is malaysian last time.. and heard i 21 years old tat time.. need to go the immigrant there dunno do wad.. without any letter.. they juz ask me go.. wad to do? i gonna find out myself.. see la.. at my age.. i hav to take care of so so much thgs. even studying.. if i always nt at home at age of 20+.. sure wad.. go out wif frens.. den hu gonna take care of them? yes.. i tot they are a burden to me.. but so wad? they are my parents.. they hav done their duty to bring me up.. *think so la*.. at least they try to take care of me.. but mayb in other ways.. which.. i dun really like.. but mayb.. this method make me think more.. think more abt life.. and.. be a better person.. tats a negative feedback la.. haha.. but for others.. think they will become gangsters liao lo..
and.. i write those.. is to express my feelings.. i hope ppl could understand.. but.. i dun hope them to spread out and in the end.. another thg come out.. and i think u all misunderstood wad i write liao.. yes.. i lied to myself.. but sometimes lies are gd... mayb ppl read liao.. is juz read.. nth else.. and.. i dun look down on others.. never..!! cuz.. i'm the one who gt look down upon.. haiz..
and.. i think sometimes hav masks.. but.. mine is the thickest and most patterns one la.. think so.. i dun like to hurt others.. but.. if i take out my mask.. i dunno wad will happen... ok fine.. now i say.. ppl like to say me.. fine.. i dun take it in heart.. but if u say alot alot.. i may juz tok to u or juz warn u.. i dun like to hurt others.. and.. if u hit me.. once or few times.. nvm.. i take in.. but if i hit u back.. u gonna hit back me harder and mayb fite will start.. like daniel.. he say me alot times.. ok fine.. i dun care.. den i say him.. he will hit me.. and if i hit back.. he will hit harder.. fine.. den i move a step back.. i stop.. i dowan create trouble.. but always in the end.. i will take in everythg.. and tats nt fine to me!!! i dun wish to take in anymore.. i take in becuz gt reason..
in pri sch.. on my sch bus.. i was once beaten up by ppl.. and my fren beside dun even care.. i'm crying and the bus auntie dun even care.. damn her.. tats a fite tat time.. and cuz i'm sitting down .. as i say.. i dowan hurt others.. and always hit. hit very softly.. but in the end they hit others.. no choice.. i dowan more trouble.. i can even get into gangs if i fite more... sometimes.. wan peace.. there will always be someone who will sacriface lo.. haiz.. tats me.. today.. the 'ra-she-dah'.. dunno y.. hit me in my face.. fine! i dun take it seriously.. as i noe she nt hit seriously.. fine.. i noe she violent.. fine.. and also.. i dun hit back la.. cuz i dun hit gals one.. wah lau.. tats the advantage of gals k!!!
den.. i said my parents spent alot of money on a set of sofa.. and.. sad to say tat.. i gonna put the 'bracing' or wadsoever u all called it.. cuz my teeth is growing upwards.. and hard for me to close my mouth.. mayb cuz i always breathe through my mouth.. and now.. close the lips.. after awhile.. it will open back itself.. mayb i'm really a burden to them.. haiz.. duno la..
and also.. i kept it in heart.. so tat someone i trust on.. could understand.. i really dunno wad to do to express them.. even if i express.. ppl will juz say "so sad.. too bad.. so poor thg".. nth else!! haiz.. how leh? i dunno.. keep it in heart better.. so tat i can reflect on.. yup.. i think no one understands me.. until i found a true gd fren...and yup.. i'm an idiot.. so? at least i noe i'm an idiot.. yup..i'm lonely.. yes i am.. its truely i am.. i'm lonely since young.. so? i missed out alot childhood.. so??? i cant reverse back!! i juz hav to put back my childhood time and study.. juz study.. i dunno liao.. hope.. juz hope.. i can manage my life in the age of 20s... haiz..
ohya.. read below post too.. also today's one.. now damn hungry.. nth to eat.. gonna eat those not nice white rice.. haiz...
pandaboo penned at 8/30/2004 07:24:00 pm
think free.live free
